 | Master and microserf Microboffed Is it love or is it ActiveX? Carrie Siegel |  |
| You don't get off campus much, don't go on many dates If you were any cuter, you would be Bill Gates Antonio Banderas, you are not But your knowledge of C++, Visual Basic and Object Linking and Embedding makes me hot Who cares that you used to get picked last for teams? You're the Software Design Engineer of my dreams Let others write you off as a geek or a nerd And let me get to know you in the biblical sense of the word I'm sick with desire, and I need your chicken soup You're the unsung God of the Interactive Media Group Every time you click on your mouse I feel my heart throb out of my blouse Don't worry about what your manager thinks Send me dirty e-mail with hypertext links Let's steam up the Windows . . . 95 Then drink free pop till we're revived We don't need no sleazy motel  Let's rip off our clothes in HTMLI'll do you favors, but you're exempt It's my duty as your temp Open your back door a little bit wider Let ME be your service provider Want to show you what kind of woman I am I'll spread open my spreadsheets if you'll show me your RAM We'll surf the web of perverse glee You don't need a password to log into me I'll go download on you, baby . . . all through the night Your hardware will savor every last megabyte I'll work you so hard, your whole system will rattle They'll feel it from Issaquah to Seattle I-90 will sway, 520 will shake Everyone on the East Side will think it's a quake They'll drop their cell phones, they'll duck and cover So please won't you be my Microsoft lover? Carrie Siegel, 22, works as a temp at a large software company in Redmond, Washington by day, and occasionally performs in comedy clubs around Seattle at night. She would like to point out that this poem is a work of fiction, and does not necessarily reflect her own recurring daydreams. | ||||||||
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| Ad Nauseam http://www.barbecuingpeople.com/nauseam/ | Original text, photography, and artwork copyright © 1995-98 Ad Nauseam and Carrie Siegel . All rights reserved. Maintained by Jim Nelson | ||
