Jim Nelson
22 February 1998

Concept: Friends and Square Pegs on Gilligan's Island.

Four twentysomethings, straight out of college, move into a cozy duplex in Silicon Valley. The series focuses on their daily tribulations and wacky programmer workmates. Hilarious antics ensue.

Target audience: Male (16-30) and Female (21-30). Can capture all race groups by using a mixed cast. The four characters (two male and two female) consists of one Anglo-Saxon, one Asian-American, one African-American, and one Latino. This unique blend guarantees appeal to all groups -- and since they're all working professionals, the network appears to promote a message of equality and racial pride. Message: we care.

Scripting: Must hipify dialogue and situations to stay in touch with the target group's dynamic lingo, lifestyle, and opinions. Idea: hire uncredited fifteen-year-olds to assist with script development. Require they flip through Spin, Rolling Stone, Teen and Style each week to keep fresh. Fire the little bastards if they get uppity or demand on-air credit.

Episode formula: There are three elements to each episode:

1. Sexual tension. The guys want to screw the girls. The girls want to screw the guys. Mix it up and introduce "competition" (i.e. guest stars) to keep the kettle boiling. Thought: Use compu-speak as substitute for dirty language. Examples: "hard drive", "joystick", "master domain controller".

2. Time crunches. The characters work sixty-hour weeks. They're basically nerds. (Beautiful and sexy nerds of course.) The show focuses on how crushing schedules conflicts with meeting people, getting laid, remembering to call home, etc. Reusable plot device: In order to meet a date/appointment/job interview, a cast member asks a favor from another who's inadequate for the task. Imagine the laugh potential when the marketing wonk has to code a device driver!

3. We-all-have-to-live-together. Even though they butt heads each week, everyone learns to live and love one another. Key point: aside from the double entendres, sexual innuendo, and salty language, this is a family show.

The cast of characters:

Mason Freeh: Born into East Coast wealth, Mason is disowned by his family for becoming a "liberal" technical software writer rather than entering law or medicine. Easy episode: Loads of laughs when Massachusetts snob parents comes to grips with Valley lifestyle during a Christmas visit. Touching final scene when father and son make up their differences -- without actually admitting fault, thereby leaving open a veritable stripmine of follow-up episodes. Think: hip Gen-X Charles Winchester III from M*A*S*H writing context-sensitive help screens.

Sunshine Dawn: Low woman on marketing totem pole in mega-corporation. Sunshine's parents were hippies in a West Coast commune and abhor her ties to "the man." Sunshine's projects and ad campaigns always fail for miserable reasons. Easy episode: Sunshine mistakenly markets her company's "flow control" software as a female hygiene product -- but her use of seductive models pitching copy reels in the sex-starved geeks worldwide, thereby saving her job for the next episode. Think: ditzified Elaine from Seinfeld destroying ad campaigns rather than prospective men.

Aside from the double entendres, sexual innuendo, and salty language, this is a family show.

Eubank Martindale: Classic computer nerd. Programmer straight out of CalTech with specialties in hardware protocols, artificial intelligence, and Web design. Easy episode: Laughs-a-plenty when Eubank takes the new party-girl Admin out to a swank nightclub. Touching final scene when Eubank reprograms the disco lights to spell her name on the dance floor -- but she dumps him anyways, thereby leaving huge opportunities for him to pick up on co-stars, co-workers, and White House interns. Think: retro Egon from Ghostbusters developing Web-enabled applications.

Megan Doe: Type-A inside salesperson. Her boss is a twice-divorced middle-aged swinger always on the move to take her out. (Recall Don Knott's pivotal role on Three's Company.) She must juggle his passes, make her numbers, and defend herself from insidious office politics. Easy episode: To convince her boss that she's unavailable, she bribes Eubank to pretend they're going steady -- but it backfires when Eubank makes a pass himself, thereby opening up future sexual tension between the two. Think: high-strung Mary Tyler Moore wheeling and dealing with the big boys.

Tie-ins:

• Cast members available to speak at major computer conventions.
• Sell name brand to software vendors. ("Visual C++ 6.2 -- as seen on Silicon Implants!")
• Produce line of screensavers, desktop themes, and personal organizers.

Complications: Concept smells suspiciously ripped-off from Douglas Coupland's Microserfs. We will probably have to offer him "Based on" credit and a cut of the profits. Upside: since he hasn't produced a bestseller in years, he'll sign on for chump change.

Let me know what you think. Once we're greenlighted, scripts can be produced on a daily basis. Location shots of Zanker Road and Sand Hill Road can be turned around in under a week. Should we hire somebody with computer experience to check for script errors? Personally, I think we can live without.

Love ya babe,

S. Smegma