Comments for 25 August 1996

Size doesn't matter? Not in cyberspace! This dinky little outpost I call "homepage" is proof:

Date: Wednesday, 18-Sep-96 02:36 AM
From: Steve Martinovich

Man o man. I have waded through a lot of garbage in my time on the WWW.
Sites filled with utter claptrap. Sites that make me realize the WWW will die
simply because there is nothing of value to be found.

Then I found your site. I have rarely laughed out loud when reading stuff from
a monitor (especially a fancy Mac Classic II with B&W screen and Lynx interface)
but your site did it. GREAT STUFF. Even the more serious stuff was really
well done. Hell, your so good, that while I have never been to Fry's (we
don't have them in Canada), I have this total picture in my mind of what it
must be like.

Again, excellent stuff!
Steve Martinovich

This little abode is more than just commentary. Ad Nauseam is here to serve. For example, consider this request for more information on trashy venues not on the Web:

Date: Thursday, 26-Sep-96 04:33 PM
From: Andrew Beals
Subject: my name is Andy and I'm a speeder

Seedy part of san jose?  The only part I know about with strip clubs is the
unincorporated chunk of bascom with the pink poodle...  Is there another?
-- 
Andy Beals,
Cube-locator: Pterodactyl hanging above me, front right quarter of the building
"Questions are a burden to others; answers are a prison for oneself." --The Prisoner, "Arrival"

"Seedy" has many connotations, but yes, the Pink Poodle is exactly the place I was thinking of. I can name a few more places; generally they're categorized as biker bars, card houses, or City Hall.

From the "Spoofing, mail" file:

Date: Wednesday, 02-Oct-96 10:26 PM
From: Jim Nelson               \ Internet:    (jnelson@crl.com)
To:   Jim Nelson               \ Internet:    (jnelson@crl.com)
Subject: HTTP://www.HIPCRIME.com

ActiveAgent pointed me to your web-site ... nice job!

HTTP://www.HIPCRIME.com

Holy Doppleganger! No, this isn't some desperate act of SMTP narcissism, just some search engine at hipcrime kindling egos. When you think of it, this is a great idea -- people writing Web pages need virtual recognition, even if it's just some box on the Internet feeding faked kudos.

Date: Wednesday, 18-Sep-96 12:05 PM
From: David Kantrow
Subject: ad nauseum

fom a first time "buyer"

    Misspelling aside,  I could care less about Magellan's review.  I
    liked the sense of your review of stale (aka slate).  Your mother many
    not approve, but it's ok by me.  Have you considered an ad section?
    More graphics would be nice.

I don't care about Magellan's review either -- but it does make me feel a little better belittling them every so often. An ad section? Somehow ranting on the corporatization of the Web while taking their money seems slightly hypocritical -- although others don't seem to see it that way.

Finally:

Date: Thursday, 03-Oct-96 10:30 AM
From: Jim Kimble
Subject: Traffic School at Frys' 

I've been enjoying your Breakfast at Fry's article since it was first mentioned
in a Suck.com daily rant;  I keep a print out (pictures and all, of course) and
let visitors to my office read it while waiting for me to finish answering an
email, get off the phone, whatever.

Instead of offering up Yet Another Obligatory Frys Nightmare, I'll
try to suggest something more positive:  I was cited for 75 mph on north-101
around Redwood City -- this was circa July 95 and before the 65mph went into
effect.  

I went to traffic court to sign up for traffic school and they gave me the
option of taking what's formally known as "home study."  It was great -- you
send your cash for a packet that contains four "mid terms" (all open-book,
obviously) and a single final exam.  The booklet has all the and is missing an
index to try and coerce folks into a linear read.  

After finishing the booklet I sent my info back to the "school" and they mailed
me a copy of the receipt sent to the court.  Dismissed.

Anyway, it's a real blessing compared to traffic school... thought you might
want to know about it, you know, "for next time."  :-) On the down-side of
things, I did end up reading most all of the booklet to complete the exams (in
other words, I didn't get out of knowing the material).  More significantly, I
actually retained some of that info for more than three of four picoseconds;
this is in direct contrast to my "don't even pay attention" (aka "i wish i had
a joint before  class") style of enduring the traditional, on-site traffic
school punishment.

I'd have to say that the biggest DISadvantage is actually having to learn the
material, even if only long enough to fill in the blanks on the midterms.  I
may be a better driver -- more accruately, I may have a better understanding
of what I'm doing unsafely -- but I still can't get over the nagging feeling
that The Institution somehow "won."

But it saved me from having to listen to a self-richtious traffic cop lecturing
about speeding being "unsafe" when if I had only been an1 esteemed colleague
(off-duty cop), then it wouldn't have been so unsafe.

Anyway , thanks for the great reads!

--Jim Kimble                                 Sun Microsystems, Inc.

"ALPO is 99 cents a can... that's almost SEVEN dog dollars!!"

Being beat down by the Man is pretty much a running theme here, so I sympathize. But a cold beer and Smashing Pumpkins turned up to eleven during home study traffic school is not exactly the worst way to be subjugated. Actually, chilled brew and loud music will make just about anything seem acceptable, even pleasurable -- except surfing the Web.