Date: Tuesday, 26-Nov-96 10:25 AM
From: Steve
Subject: quake

Hey there...I really relate to your quake story. I am not sure if its true or not, even if not, it really touched a nerve. I am right now battling the same type of addiction. Most of my free time, and even non-free-time is spent quaking.

Well...I gotta go now. Thanks...

Steve

More potent than smack, cheaper than a quarter-ounce of weed. Scary shit, man. It only gets worse:

Date: Friday, 20-Dec-96 01:47 PM
From: TheBayGuy@aol.com
Subject: a small matter of addiction....


Great piece, man. I have a "Quake" problem myself. Good luck with the job situation.

It's straight out of Reefer Madness. Calm and collected, the stories of mainlining Quake continue:

Date: Sunday, 22-Dec-96 10:56 PM
From: Tore Friskopp
Subject: great story

I really liked your addicted to quake story.

Ok, maybe the end needs to be rewritten :-)

Many frag's

[+]Totte of the Crusaders

Oh, the jovial attitude, the snappy comments naively smilied. Underneath the jocular exterior a seething junkie awaits for his next hit of nailgun violence.

Date: Thursday, 09-Jan-97 04:26 PM
From: Mark Surfas
Subject: good quake story

Your grammar is a little scattered at first, but the story really catches fire at the end!

Mark Surfas

So sad, they can only correct my syntax as they whittle away their lives blasting away other addicts in the depths of hell-spawned dungeons and catacombs. Pity ...

The second theme comes from those standing in the self-aggrandizement swamp:

Date: Tuesday, 31-Dec-96 06:51 PM
From: Joe Clark
Subject: Hi

Gosh. I thought I was the only disillusioned ornery curmudgeon on the Web. Then I found Ad Nauseum. I'm a big fan. Check my Web site, including /QiYEmain.html, and you'll find enough to keep you going for a week.

Joe Clark
joeclark@interlog.com
http://www.interlog.com/~joeclark


Two can play that game:

Date: Thursday, 09-Jan-97 03:11 PM
From: Dust
Subject: nice site

i liked ad nauseum.

but this is just a self-serving message in the hopes you will link me.

peace.

-Dustin Ashe

...
Dust Productionz
http://www.primenet.com/~xtorres/
"all the fun you ain't supposed to be having"
...

The last theme are from those performing the ritual floggings. As the masochist in me would say, "finally!" Let me get the bullwhip ready here ...

Date: Wednesday, 04-Dec-96 11:26 AM
From: Jason Kaye
Subject: Your Page is GReat

Hey, I just like to say your page is great. But, come on, would you stop slacking and update your Web Page atleast once a week. I have to wait almost a month until you get off your lazy butt to say great stuff :)

Cheers
jk

<crack!> Oh, God, thank you. Next?

Date: Monday, 30-Dec-96 01:31 PM
From: Jane Lee
Subject: Where Have You Been?

Hi Jim,

I discovered your site several months back through a link on the Greg Bulmash Humor Page. In a short period of time, I had read everything and thoroughly enjoyed it! I keep checking back periodically to see if you have anything new, but alas, it's not there. I am starting to get downright depressed about it! You haven't given up writing have you?

Thanks,
Jane

No, wait, please don't feel depressed. I need to feel bad. You should be writing harsher, more critical emails and let me savor the pain. Here's a better example:

Date: Tuesday, 31-Dec-96 06:26 AM
From: DAVID MILLAR
Subject: latest article?


what? i'm supposed to remember the title of the article i just read? did i know there was going to be a test? i was just out exploring the net and stumbled onto your site. it's one thing to be brain-dead..., but to be known to be brain dead because of trick questions is, well, really cheap. i just wanted to say hello, and this is the thanks i get!

<crack!> <crack!> Yes, yes! Thank you!

Whew! I just love writing these letters pages!