Coming soon ... Java objects you will dread

1. NaggingSpouse
   Upon execution, begins to ceaselessly reprimand you for spending so much time on the computer. Can't be stopped, but in some states is legal grounds for separation from your machine.

2. MicrosoftLovesYou
   With Microsoft licensing Java for its browser, be prepared for the Great Cosa Nostra of the Northwest to flood the WWW with its own homebrewed objects. All of them inherit from this object, which guarantees they cannot be deleted, renamed, moved, or compressed. Provides services so child objects can find your pirated Microsoft products and snitch to Uncle Bill. Will also launch a thread once a day on a search-and-destroy mission against objects from competitors.

3. MozillaStockWatch
   Periodically logs into Dow Jones Information Retrieval and gets the latest stock quote on Netscape Inc. Imports the MozillaWhatAWonderfulWorld object to put a good spin on falling prices. Will also emit a digitized chuckle whenever visiting a Microsoft page.

4. BlinkingText
   I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.